FEAR is one of the key things that prevents people from reaching their potential, stepping out the boat, taking that next step, living out their authenticity and living a truly fulfilled life! The top 5 fears highlighted in an article by J Maxwell are:
- Fear of Failure
- Fear of Trading Security for the Unknown
- Fear of Being Overextended Financially
- Fear of What Others Will Say or Think
- Fear that Success Will Alienate Peers
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
The reason people don't is Fear No. 4 - what will people think or say..what if people won't like the real me...
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
This directly relates to Fear No. 2 & 3 - finances drive deceptions over freedom, passion and fulfillment!
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
Again Fear No. 4 stands out...
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
Again to me this is the fear of financial security - we get so consumed in life that finances become more important that relationships!
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Fear of change, fear of what people will think about them....
So in my mind the top 5 fears and the top 5 regrets on your deathbed are directly related!
I hope you see the connection and decide today that by facing the top 5 fears in your life will eliminate the top 5 regrets on your death bed!
Here are a couple of sayings thats I've picked up over time that have really encouraged and inspired me!
You will still have the feelings of fear, but choose confidence over fear and do it afraid!
We grow when we face our fears and overcome difficulty without quitting, it's a time of preparation for you to live your purpose & reach your true full potential!
Don't give in to fear of the unknown or of being adventurous - move past it & follow your heart! ~ Joyce
If you want to develop your potential & succeed at being all you can be, keep your eyes on the prize & press on! Fight through the fears & doubts that stand in your way! It won't all be easy but it certainly will be worthwhile!
Fear itself is small but has a big shadow, but once the light of truth shines upon it, it's disappears! Do it afraid, live with courage & confidence!
"If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been" Robert Schuller
Taking steps to make my 7x7 dream a reality I have endured many circumstances of fear - the first 4 were very relevant to me, but I had a choice to make, and I decided to go in with hands trembling, heart beating, sweaty palms and tenaciously face my fears and overcome them. ...choose FAITH over FEAR and face your Fears with the best team ever...take God with you don't try and do it alone..
I hope this encourages you to face your fears with tenacity & courage and LOVE LIVING LIFE and reach your full unique, authentic potential, live your passions and your purpose & make the world a better place!
This post was inspired by my daily devotion from "The Confident Women Daily Devotion" by Joyce Meyer Titled "Be Tenacious" and the reading was about David & Goliath 1 Sam 17:32, 37
